Breitbart London editor Raheem Kassam goes shopping

Good morning Sir, how can I help you?

Shut up dickhead. You’re not a journalist. You don’t get to ask me questions.

Very good sir. By all means have a look around. We’re open till 5.30.

What a loser. Don’t you have anything better to do than sit around in this scummy shop all day? I’m just in from the States, where I spend a lot of time.

How nice. I hear it’s been unusually cold over there recently.

Cut the global warming crap. Just a moment while I laugh my fucking ass off (I say “ass” because I spend a lot of time in the States by the way). Leftard cuck.

I’m so sorry?

Fuck me why are you even talking to me, can’t you see I’m tweeting? How many followers do you have?

I’m afraid tweeting isn’t really my thing, Sir.

Moron. I’ve got hundreds of thousands. Anyway, I want a charger for my phone. I bought it in the States, where I spend a lot of time, mainly to get away from massive dick-heads like you, and the plug doesn’t fit in this scumbag country.

I’m afraid we don’t have any, Sir. You could try …

Fuck me. You call yourself a mobile phone shop and you don’t have a charger for my I-phone X? What a shithole country, unlike the States where, since I’ve become a massive celebrity, I now spend a lot of time.

I’m afraid we don’t sell mobile phone accessories, just hand-made chocolates, Sir. That’s why the shop is called “Chocolate Heaven.”

What a fucking scumbag hypocrite you are. No wonder you’re so fat. Is that your wife over there? I feel sorry for her personal trainer.

Thank you Sir, can I perhaps suggest you try the Apple Shop just across the road?

So this is a no-go zone except for leftards, commies and terrorists?

No, we’re just a chocolate shop, Sir.

You’re literally throwing me out of your shop because my views offend you. What a fucktard.

You would probably be better off looking for a phone charger in another shop.

Fuck me, what a loser you and your fat wife are. Cucks, retards.

The door is this way, Sir.

Get your fucking ugly genital mutilating hands off me!

This way please, thank you.

I was adviser to Nigel Farage you know …

If you would just remove your foot from the door, Sir.

I could have been leader of UKIP if I hadn’t spent so much time in the States …

We’re closing early today, thank you Sir.

You don’t understand how this works, do you? You can’t argue, can you? You’re afraid of me. I’ve just owned you. Liberal cunt, hypocrite, leftard cuck, moron, sicko, scumbag, fatso, snowflake, Liberal cunt, hypocrite, leftard cuck … [recurring infinitely] …

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Author: Matthew

I have been a barrister for over 25 years, specialising in crime. You may also have come across some of my articles I have written on legal issues for The Times, Standpoint, Daily Telegraph or Criminal Law & Justice Weekly

52 thoughts on “Breitbart London editor Raheem Kassam goes shopping”

  1. Brilliant parody showing “liberals” how ridiculous they sound by attempting to transpose typical PC “politeness” and “manners”, not to mention “non-judgemental tolerance” into pseudo “right wing” speech, which, of course, you never actually hear in real life.

    Unlike the continuous stream of “rape apologist” and even “rapist” accusations you get from the Ctrl-Left Alt-Libs hurled at anyone not continuously Virtue Signalling “#MeToo” (yeah, right) to their fellow Snowflakes!

    1. Of course, a “liberal” while preferring to shop in Apple and Starbucks, would have been rampaging through the shop, overturning the displays, before setting it alight, and running off with the fire extinguishers.

      To the roof, where they could signal how virtuous they were by non discriminately hurling the extinguishers into the crown below, entirely coincidentally in the vicinity of any passing plod.

        1. So the heavily biased, trend distorting, shadow-banning, conservative censoring, right of centre ba33ing, trendy-lefty “liberal”, Twitter has suspended him “After Firing Back Against Leftist Attacks……. following a stream of online abuse aimed at him by hard-left activists.”!

          We already know that the non-judgemental, properly PC Ctrl-Left Alt-Lib “liberals” can hurl as much abuse as they want at the non left, but if the non left reply in kind they will be shut down by the “liberal” “free speech” platforms!

          It’s like the Ch4 snowflake SJW Newman farce where she was supposedly subjected to abuse and death threats.

          When Peterson actually received 30, yes THIRTY, times as much abuse from Newman’s PC supporters and she received no real threats.

          It would be funny if the non-judgemental, non discriminatory, inclusive “liberals” hadn’t caused Peterson to lose his research funding, tried to get criminal charges brought against him for daring to tell the truth, an subjected him to real death threats!!!

          Would you like a bigger shovel to dig that hole with?!

          1. Good!

            Now you know how the non “liberals” have been feeling for the past few decades!!

            In fact since the 60s!!!

          2. PS that explains why you couldn’t see why you were shooting yourself in the foot by posting your link.

            It never ceases to amaze me how often “liberals” Google up their ammo and launch it at the opposition without bothering to check if it supports your case.

            That’s because they assume EVERYTHING and everyone, especially if Google’s let it appear, supports the cause.

            That eyes glazing over was you going into a cognitive dissonance hallucinatory trance!

          3. Link? Oh you mean the exit from Twitter link? I made no comment other than “whoops”. After all it was about your bf.

    2. I think we can all agree that anyone that uses the word snowflake to describe anything other than a flake of snow is a complete bell end.

      1. Actually, I think that the majority would agree that we can all agree that anyone that uses the words complete bell end to describe anyone using the word snowflake to describe anything other than a flake of snow is a complete bell end!

        With knobs on!!

        Even if you were insisting it should be snoflake!!!

      2. PS you are clearly a flake of snow that has been triggered into melting into a soggy wet SJW Virtue Signalling drip.

      1. Ah, so the problem is that Kassam, shock horror, outrageously abused someone by making:

        ‘the accusation that I am a “massive, massive hypocrite” who is “grandstanding” ‘

        And in the next Twit(?) Kassam was called a “bellend” and accused of being a liar by a supporter of the first person).

        I can see now why he might have got upset.

        I’d just been finding him on this Twitter thing and could only see one post of his where he’d used a couple of coarse words in reply to someone who had apparently involved themselves in a conversation with him, and was then threatening legal action against him because they couldn’t disengage themselves from it.

        Would this be the same (barrister? “liberal”? Snowflake? card-carrying “victim”? MeToo?!) person as in your link?!

  2. As I understand it, Raheem made some comments re Snigdha Nag in this video. Snigdha and Raheem then had a twitter exchange at the top of this thread.

    Snigdha claims in one of her tweets that “it was suggested I had shared a Breitbart story about acid attacks in London”. I didn’t hear Raheem make this claim in the video.

    Raheem does claim that Snigdha had posted on Facebook about the acid attacks in London. Snigdha correctly states on twitter that her post doesn’t specifically mention London. But this is, in my view, a disingenuous response as, on any reasonable reading, the acid attacks that Snigdha is unhappy about clearly include the acid attacks in London.

    Raheem also accuses Snigdha of claiming on Facebook that it’s “terrible” that there can be gender segregation within mixed Islamic schools. Snigdha responds on twitter that her Facebook post “does not make any comment” about the rightness or wrongness of segregation. But if you read Snigdha’s reply to Charlotte Skeet underneath her post, then arguably (but only arguably) it might imply that she thinks the segregation within mixed schools is wrong.

    So I think Raheem, despite his rudeness, certainly wasn’t all wrong in his claims re Snigdha.

  3. This would be funny were it not so near the truth.

    I have just been reading yesterday’s Parliamentary discussion as to whether the UK should leave the EU immediately. This was instigated by a petition signed by 137,000 truly foolish people. Brexit minister Suella Fernandes MP urged those who had signed the petition to have patience, saying: “Time is needed so that we can make the best of Brexit.”

    Ms Fernandes, whose parents were immigrants here in the 1960s, should realise that many of the people who signed this petition would no doubt take the view (and I apolgise for the language) that she should be put on the “first banana boat back to where she and her parents came from”.

    We live in sad times!

    1. So you’re sayin you have evidence it’s so near the truth?

      So you’re sayin you have evidence that all your insinuations, assertions and allegations are so near the truth?

      So you’re sayin you are really Cathy Newman of Channel 4 “News” and Jordan Peterson “interview” fame and want to claim the £5 yourself for being such a right-on “liberal” virtue signaller?!?!

      1. Hey BJ
        It doesn’t matter how hard you suck up, I don’t think Breitbart boy is going to sleep with you.
        Now jog on.
        PS Haven’t you got a job, or are you just another right wing wanker milking the system?

    2. Why bring Brexit into this? I voted to remain but I’m truly sick of the Remoaners like you. It was a free vote, the leavers won. Its called democracy. Get over yourself.

      1. You clearly dont understand the concept of democracy. I suggest you ask yourself if a General Election resulted in a particular party having a majority if all the other parties ought to roll over and accept the new Government’s views and policies? Democracy is dynamic, not static. But you miss the point.
        The people parodied in Matthew’s blog often take a far right stance but are all too often angry, rude, narrow in their vision and hypocritical. I’m sure many of the far left are similar.

        Incidentally, from what I know of Matthew, I shouldn’t refer to him as a lefty or “libtard’, unless being intelligent and open to argument makes you these.

        1. Allow me to explain democracy to him for you.

          It’s like if a rugby team loses a match then insists it won because it kicked the ball under the crossbar more often.

          As when “liberals” and “Democrats” lose a state based constituency like vote, and then insist they won some “Popular Vote” that hadn’t been campaigned for nor held, and where all the (legitimate) votes hadn’t even been counted (while many illegal ones might have been).

          But also insist that an actual Popular Vote majority, in an actual Popular Vote referendum, be ignored because they supposedly won the state based referendum vote, which wasn’t actually held, 3-2?!

          1. I’m not sure who has questioned the result of the Trump election result on here. I would question it if it turned out he was in cahoots with another power or his suitability to be POTUS if his position stopped him facing due process for crimes (for example) such as rape, child sexual abuse etc. I might even question his principles if he staged a campaign again elements within his country, say like the last community….or that he used his office to undermine truth. That said, nobody is seeking to undermine the European Union Referendum here, although because of the absence of information at the time I voted, I should like a say when the outcome of talks regarding ‘the deal’ have been completed, especially as they have been carried out by a minority Government unable to rule except by bribery of a truly awful bigoted Ni party.

        2. Oh, and when you say “Democracy is dynamic, not static.” do you mean in the same way “liberals” think the truth is dynamic, not static?!

          And it’s one thing defending your beliefs and continuing to argue your points after an election.

          It’s entirely another to try to undermine democracy and try to enforce mob rule and propaganda to achieve what you failed to do in an election.

          I listed a hundred Remain lies (including what they said about the bus) off the top of my head.

          All parties at one time or another had promised a referendum.

          In the debate on the referendum all parties agreed the people should decide and voted overwhelmingly to that effect.

          All the referendum literature confirmed it was the people’s decision.

          There was nothing on the ballot paper about the vote being advisory.

          And while to maintain sovereignty should only need a 50% plus one single vote majority:

          To surrender all sovereignty to a foreign body (assuming that’s even possible) should require a super majority of at least 67% in most, if not all constituencies, or at least all the five participating states.

          If you don’t like it, as the Leavers were told for 40 years, change things at the NEXT election!

          “That’s democracy!!!”

        3. And I suppose you think the near left stance of bigoted, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic, mysogynistic, racist, illiterate, uneducated, unqualified, knuckle-dragging, Neanderthal, Little Englanders, destroying the economy, ruining the country, stealing our children’s futures, and precipitating World War Three, leading to a nuclear conflagration which will destroy the planet, is placid, polite, broad minded and unhypocritical?!

        4. You really do miss the point. The people voted for Brexit- not the government. As the elected representatives for the people, they are there to carry out their will. People of all political persuasions voted for and against. I guess you are of the view that we should have a revote and then maybe another until you get the result you want. Is that what you mean by dynamic democracy?

          I’m neither right nor left and not familiar with Mr Kasam, but looking at his background I assumed he was of the right, and of course just reading Matthew’s attempt at a personal attack on him I think a fair assumption is that Matthew is of the left.

          I assume also from your response you are also one of the leftards who asserts your own moral superiority because you are the “nice” people and anyone who disagrees with your snowflake view of the world must automatically be some right wing fascist. Very intelligent and open minded thinking indeed.

      2. I presume you are happy with the Daily Mail/Express/Sun coverage of “Remoaners” (as opposed to Bremoaners)? Dont forget these newspapers have been criticised by the United Nations.

    3. Rubbish!! So, if people say they want controlled immigration, and some sort of vetting applied to ensure that we are not allowing anyone into the country who wishes to do us harm or be a drain on society, in your mind , these people are knuckle dragging , racist idiots who want anyone who is not white thrown out the country. How offensive, simplistic and ignorant. Maybe if people like you listened to some of the concerns from brexiteers instead of jumping to brand them all as scum, we might actually have some mature and positive conversations in this country!

      1. I have not used any of the language you identify. Mr Mann suggested certain terms which i presumed he was claiming for the people with his and the Breibart guy’s position. Who am I to disagree?

        As this was a blog about the UK Breibart editor: I can only go by his attitude and language I’ve read. A most interesting psychological exhibit to my mind.

        The immigration issue has little to do with the European Union in that we’ve always had control of of borders as regards non EU nationals but successive governments have failed to provide adequate resources to check those coming in and out. I’d take issue when it comes to EU nationals. Again there are rules which could have been used to remove certain undesirables. In my experience the EU nationals I have met and know I have found them hard working tax payers. Without them our NHS would be worse than it is and our hotels, restaurants and farms would be short of staff.

        Don’t blame the EU for mistakes of the UK Government.

        1. “Mr Mann suggested certain terms which i presumed he was claiming for the people with his and the Breibart guy’s position. Who am I to disagree?”

          So you have bothered to read one comment of mine.

          But even with that one you struggled with the fact i’d clearly pointed out it was the left wing stance.

          Or are you claiming people with my and the Breibart guy’s position are left wing?!

          Going by your attitude and language you are a most interesting psychological exhibit to my mind.

          “The immigration issue has little to do with the European Union in that we’ve always had control of of borders as regards non EU nationals”

          So the millions of economic migrants welcomed into the EU as refugees, that we can’t deport even if they turn out to be terrorists because of EU laws, are nothing to do with the EU?!

          And I’d take issue when it comes to EU nationals. if the EU won’t let us deport NON EU nationals, what hope in practice have we of getting rid of EU nationals.

          Oh, and try checking up the total staff numbers in the NHS and comparing the proportion of immigrants in the NHS to the proportion in the country (many working as cleaners or in catering, on minimum wage, for minimum hours to qualify for enhanced benefits!)!

          1. NHS first as I’m a frequent user and on various patient committees. My local hospitals and GP surgery would shut down without EU and (mianly) Asian nationals. My GP is Spanish. There is only one English GP in the practice. It took us several months to full a vacancy last year and we had to close the practice list for 2 months. This is for a beautiful rural area..

            My consultants include a charming orthopaedic surgeon from Pakistan, a German neurologist, and another from China. One of my English friends is at Newcastle training to be a nurse and he assures me the hospitals he is working in are understaffed and would hardly cope without migrant doctors and nurses. Oh, even floors have to be swept. Perhaps you should blame one or two Tory Government ministers who were major shareholders in the company which used to clean hospitals.

            Left wing? I get the impression Attila the Hun would be a libtard lefty in your eyes. For your information I have only voted Labour once and that was to try to unseat a very arrogant lazy councilor in Cheltenham many years ago. My dad read the Mail (God forgive him).

            Non EU migrants have been allowed into the UK via other Eu countries. The numbers are small. Having ‘buggered up’ a number of countries by involving ourselves in thei problems (Iraq. Syria, Libya….) causing untold misery for the innocent, I see good reason for this. Sadly we did not adhere to the Dub’s Proposal to allow more unaccompanied children into the country. Of course the UK has stopped non EU migrants from Europe and remains able to do so. That said, the UK is bound by international law to give safe haven to those seeking asylum from persecution and war. Note the word “international”. Such laws were often drafted by British lawyers and Conservative politicians following WW2 – often based on the model set by Christian teaching and charity..

            I am certain to be an interesting psychological specimen. Sadly you’re too late as my godson’s mother is a psychiatrist and I’m certain she has studied me in great detail.

            Farewell Mr Mann

  4. A new direction in the Blog.
    How many units of alcohol were taken before writing this?
    And yes, it is quite funny.

    1. Funny, yes, but it would have been even funnier if he’d given the shop assistant spindly stick legs and curly blond locks…….

      And put the words in her mouth,with each outburst introduced with “So you’re saying…..”!

  5. A truly awful piece of blogging. I’m not part of the Twatterati so I have no idea who said what to whom about what subject.

    I surmise from the piece that Matthew is a bedwetting leftie and Raheem Kassam is of the right, so Matthew is trying to demonstrate his Guardianista, PC credentials.

    Its all well off the mark. Stick to legal blogging Matthew.

  6. BTW, the European Referendum wasn’t a rugby match where one side wins. That is the thinking of a truly immature thinker. Get over yourself.

    1. Oh dear. I’m afraid you really have missed the point. The referendum was about winning and losing a democratic vote. WE (the remainers) lost. I’ve accepted it as have many others and you should too. Even your man Corbyn doesn’t really like Europe…..he prefers democracies such as Venezuela. I hear they have “dynamic democracy” that keeps a dictator in power.

      1. “Your man Corbyn”? You are making a presumption as some have of others in this thread.
        As for winning and losing…. we shall see. What has been done can be undone in a democracy. Even some Tory politicians are now agreeing that “the people” have gone off the idea of Brexit. Not really surprising when one considers the mess that’s being made if it.

        That’s my last word on this blog.

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